I feel like crap right now.
And it's not the first day. In fact, I always feel like that. What is worth a fat ugly stupid girl.
It's the first time when I write about what I really feel. And it's the first time I really know what I feel. And I feel like I'm worth nothing. Thanks to my mum, who's always saying these awful things to me without even thinking what she's saying. Thanks to my dad, he has always been there for me. And I've always known that He is happy when I go to visit him. But now I'm not that sure. He has his new woman now. Who at first was my friend. But thanks to me and my fucking behaving I'm not sure if she is anymore. And in fact my mum told me few days ago that thought that's been in my head for a long time: 'Your father don't need you anymore'. Hard but true. And thanks to me. Just because I'm me.
And I even don't want to talk about my friends. Because I feel like I just don't deserve them. Like really, some times I don't even now how to talk with them. Not sometimes. Most of the time.
In addition to that I hate myself because I can't get nothing done with anything I'm trying to do.
And I even don't want to talk about my friends. Because I feel like I just don't deserve them. Like really, some times I don't even now how to talk with them. Not sometimes. Most of the time.
In addition to that I hate myself because I can't get nothing done with anything I'm trying to do.
It's no mystery why I feel like that all the time. It's all me. I'm the one who's doing everything wrong.
I'm always trying to be positive and showing my 'happy side' everytime anyone asks me what's wrong. I'm so enogh of this. So I just writed here some things what I really feel.
Oh yes, you may think that I'm some attention seeking emo bitch right now. Go ahead.
k.
No matter what your mother says, i am sure your father loves you.
ReplyDeleteAnd you should always remember that if you feel lonly or you feel that no-one needs you, WE NEED YOU!!! You are our Ace, in every sence of the word. Don´t cry! And remember, you don´t always have to appeare happy, it is allowed to be sad or even a bit depressed sometimes, just don´t let it get to you. And I don´t think you are a attention seeking emo bitch.Not now, not ever!!!
We all love ya, man. I'm not joking or anything, because we seriously all love you! I'd let you come live with me! Even if my mom wont let me, I'd stash you under my bed (because I heard the underneath my bed is an unending abyss) and I'd bake you blueberry and coconut cakes everyday. I apologize in advance if they come out hard as rock. I can't bale at all. But for you I'd be willing to!
ReplyDeleteAnd just, you're awesome, why da fuck would you not deserve us? I mean, I can't even begin to comprehend that.
Remember that time when I was so fucking insecure about our friendship, because we always fight and yell at each other? Remember who got me out of those thoughts. That's right, you! You said I was overthinking about things and we're still friends. Now I'M gonna say that to you: You're overthinking things and we're still your friends and deserving someone is not even really humane. I mean, friends aren't objects you get and admire from afar. You just have them and if you have fun times together, then it's all gonna work out in the end!
And now, this brings me back to something not that relevant, but it might help nonetheless; do you plan on going to Tartu? Because if you are, I think I might be convinced to go there with you. Fun times will be had.
Well said.
ReplyDeleteAce, listen to her.You know that with us you will always have four shoulders to cry on, if needed(though i can´t imagine why you would need four!). You can count on us, we will try to help you in any way we can.
i love you guys
ReplyDeleteWe love you back!
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