Emotions that make us weak

Disappointment.

I guess everyone is different, but for me there is no other emotion that makes you feel so fucking weak and powerless.

I have a fucking history with disappointment. Me and it are regular fuck-buddies, bordering on a romantic interest now. Gonna propose to that bitch and give it a fucking ring made out of paper!

No, but every time I am disappointed in someone or at something, I literally feel physically ill. If the disappointment's really strong, then I sometimes feel like my legs are gonna give out.

I felt disappointed this morning. Nothing too bad, not weak in the knees, but definitely physically ill. It's because I saw a really fucked up dream and thought that it was... Great. It wasn't. Moments later I felt like I was the biggest shitstain on a pudgy policeman's trousers.


There are other emotions that make me feel a bit weak in the knees as well. Like jealousy. I fucking hate that I'm a jealous person. Jealousy fucked with my mind once so hard (and without any lube or condoms), that I was seriously considering doing something that was really fucking inappropriate once. It gave me thoughts that were never supposed to be there! If you wanna know, I was jealous because of a person I didn't even know. Thankfully, my sister talked some sense into me.


Next very disturbing emotion is disgust. Normally it's just disgust at myself, like this morning. But compared to the last two emotions, this is actually not that bad.


Anger is a... very strong emotion as well, but instead of making you feel weak, it blinds you into thinking you're strong, which you're not. It's not really high up on my list anyway, 'cause I make it a rule for myself not to become too angry, because of the disappointment that inevitably ensues with it afterwards.


Love is certainly something, but I feel I would not give that emotion justice, should I start talking about it. I've only had crushes and a something that I THOUGHT was love, but was just jealousy of another person. I don't really know that much about love, despite how much yaoi fanfiction I read.


I would say loneliness is more of a physical state, than an emotion. Because it can only be cured by another person, unlike all the other emotions.


Sadness and depression are... very disconcerting and can cause massive damage to both you and the people around you. It's an emotion that plays on the edge of sanity and madness. You're too sane to jump out of the window just yet, but just mad enough to contemplate it or hurt yourself. Something might tip the scale dramatically though. Be it your mom, bro or even your best friend.

I went through the worst of sadness and depression. It was maddening. I remember how fucking insane I was at that time. How I was trying to crack my skull open, to break my right hand, to gouge out my eyes. It was bad, yes, but now that I got over it, I feel so... Accomplished.


But yeah, every other emotion PALES in face of disappointment. Especially if you're disappointed in someone else.


So yeah, psychological analysis over. You can start mocking me for writing such a deep entry! :)