I don't feel any different

Like, I know I should, but I don't.

I woke up today to a message on my phone. It was my cousin. She wished me a happy birthday. I went back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and my aunt called me and wished me a happy birthday. I thanked her and went to prepare for school. And about an hour after the call it suddenly hit me; I'm fucking 18 now.

But I still don't feel different. So far it's been a pretty normal day as I went to school, did some studying, came home, baked a cake for when mum and bro come home and slept. I also cleaned the house a bit and spent time with nanna, but that's pretty much it.


Oh, but guys, I found my one true love; GIFs! I have NO idea why I never liked them before! But I found a bunch yesterday and I was laughing my ass off for about two hours. I haven't laughed so much for about TWO YEARS. I was literally LOLing all over the floor! Let me show you some of my favourites!

 I have no idea... But I love it! Just look at John and Sherlock in that picture!

Sadly, you wont get this reference.

And these are just a few... You're gonna be seeing a lot of overusage of GIFs! Because I love them!

Massive rage about people pt. zwei

First, if you think I have a massive ego problem, then look up the word 'irony' in the dictionary and then slowly, very gently... jam a blunt fork in your eye. Thank you.

Second, there was a part one of this, but today was a tipping point for me again and I have to rant about this.

Third, some points may come up again from the first part. That means they piss me EXTRA off.

Let's get started!



*People who sit on the outer seat in a bus, putting their bags on the window-seat. What the fuck is wrong with you?! People that get on want a seat and you must realize that this one person will come to you eventually and ask to sit next to you. Why would you make your life so difficult? It's just another human being sitting next to you. Usually (in Estonia) they wont even say a word to you afterwards. So it's not like you have to be afraid of conversation. I mean, what the fuck?!

*People, who whine about everything and then do nothing to solve their problems. Oh wait, this was in part one already? Well, it still pisses me off.

*Liars. Like not even little white lies, though that kind of pisses me off as well. I'm talking about huge lies. Lies that get you and other people in trouble. Like how you told your baby's father that you have weaned your baby off of your breast, but after two years you still haven't done it... And the baby's father is about to find out, because usually you just sleep in another room with the baby and now the father has to sleep in the same room as you. So you ask your little sister to help with the weaning, which kind of wears your little sister out... Yeah, how's that gonna work out for you?

* People who get angry at me when I decide NOT to help them. Helping someone is VOLUNTARY. I do NOT need to help every living being on this planet. I do NOT need to take a piece of MY precious time and use it on YOU. When I offer help, it means I'm offering to spend my time on YOU. It's free. If you don't use it, fine. But if you get angry at me for not spending my precious life on you, then kindly jam a blunt fork in your eye.

*People who think they're above the law. Fuck off. If you're famous and get convicted of something where the evidence undeniably says it was you and you don't really even deny it, but say that you're not supposed to be here or something, because "Do you know who I am?" Kindly slice your tongue on a rusty spoon.

*Stupid drivers. I don't know if people are getting more stupid or if road tests are getting easier to pass. It's basic knowledge to turn on your side lights when you want to take a turn. It's even more basic that you need to PAY ATTENTION to other drivers and people crossing the road at the RIGHT PLACE. I will sue you to high heaven if you ever hit me while I'm crossing the zebra with my green light on, I swear!

*There is NEVER any real excuse for bad grammar. Bad punctuation, okay, I can live with that. But continuous wrong usage of the words "your" and "you're"and everything else makes me angry. Please shoot some grammar into your brain and DON'T get angry at people who correct your spelling. They're HELPING! You're just showing off your ignorance and laziness. That's not an attractive trait.

*When I have no wifi and being without internet for a few hours is SO. VERY. TOUGH. ...People, who are like that should watch or re-watch Fight Club. And then they should get a "friendly" visit from Tyler Durden.

*People, who walk in, instead of letting people out first. ARE YOU A HUMAN BEING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

*Women, who don't reprimand their child when it does something bad. Or don't actually really discipline them at all. You see, this is how douchebags spawn. You need to put a stop to this, before things get bad and you start moaning of how hard life is and how your child doesn't love you. Also if you just don't really take care of your kids and get a babysitter for it. IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME OR DON'T HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF HOW TO EFFECTIVELY RAISE A CHILD, WEAR A CONDOM! You can even try baby pills. Why would you need to bring your spawn into this life, if you aren't going to teach it about rules and consequences. It's going to be a REAL LIVE HUMAN, you need to understand that when you're fucking. Teach your kid to act like a human.

*Touching. I HATE it when people poke or touch me without giving me time to prepare for it. I can prepare for a hug usually. I can't prepare for a poke in the ribs at school. And it usually hurts too. FUCK OFF!

*People who DRAMATICALLY moan or sigh to get you to ask them what's wrong. I am specifically ignoring you now.

*People who talk about how much FUN they had last night while they were inebriated. If you start your sentences with "Dude, I was so wasted/stoned..." I will automatically tune you out.

*People who have no modesty. "Ooooh, I look SUPER cute today." ...I will laugh when you get an F in math or some shit. I will laugh even if it physically hurts me and I have to visit the hospital the next ten seconds. Usually you're not cute, get over yourself. It's called, say it with me, NARCISSISM! Or at the very least, a HUGE FUCKING EGO!

*People who make STUPID jokes. Like jokes about male genitalia, innuendo, abortion and other lame topics.Maybe one every once in a while, but not every. goddamn. hour! Seesh, you're in the 12th grade! Stop acting like my little brother! It's unattractive! If you want attention, go into acting or make INTELLIGENT jokes. Or use irony. That shit is ALWAYS funny.

*People who brag. Take a step back and literally... FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!



Ugh, okay, there might be a part tres if people manage to piss me off this much again. I'm usually a really tolerant person so it's hard, but I guess everything's possible if you put your ass in gear to do JUST THOSE THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF! And don't start with the, "damn gurl, u dinnt need to be so pessimistic bout lyfe."
I needed to rant to get it all off my chest, fuck you very much.

Now I feel much better :)

Good news for you.
http://www.elu24.ee/1052696/kurb-uudis-lil-wayne-loobub-muusikast/

So, Anni. I think I still need your doctor.

And that shows how much I fucking love you guys.

Octopimp - Dave rap

AKA the lyrics I transcribed... and it took me only two hours. 
I have never seen anyone rap with this much irony! These lyrics are godly! And they're also funny as fuck! Better than any rap artist out there today, y/y?



Spittin' rhymes with Terezi, here son
And I'm officially the candidate for having some fun
(You know)
Bustin' shit for y'all, I quickly spit
But the fellas you are with,
They ain't even legit, (because)
I'm a Strider and there ain't none finer
All you other rappers try, but this gap is even wider than
This role
impossible
Try to step to the knight with the clock control
I digress,
putting you in distress
You know I got the finesse
Always dress to impress
(The best)
Got a sword, but I ain't gonna use it
Got my lyric weapon here, you know that I'll never refuse it
(It's) too easy to dunk on you clowns
When my sick rhymes always keepin' me down
(Oh shit)
Bustin' old school style
Now the class is in session
So stay for a while
(Cause I'm) too fresh, here in the flesh
Here it's better than the epic of Gilgamesh
You think you're clever or better but that's whatever
Rhyming ever is forever but never a self-aggressor
(Yeah)
Should I count all the reasons you're a zero?
You've got no cash and a troll body-pillow
Got the honey and the money so much that it ain't funny
This is why I'm on top and I ain't gonna stop
(Here)
Got this rhyme
And it's keeping in time
In the words of myself; it is truly sublime
It's prime, it's a crime
to keep it this real
Better lock me up
'Cause I ain't gotta reveal (this steel)
Ideal, but you can't relate
How 'bout you go back to your pillow and masturbate
(Ooooh)
I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?
It's too bad that my lyrics are supremely endowed
So let me say that in conclusion, if you have any confusion,
there's no optical illusion; all these words are no exclusion,
if you want a bad confusion, I can give them in profusion,
that there ain't no collusion. My vocal electrocution
has the lyric restitution, not your lame-ass air pollution.
There, I got the whole solution, with the high-class execution.
Under constant evolution, start a Strider revolution,
'n yo jumpass institution with wisdom that's so confusion

ETTEVAATUST JUUT

Kuulake sõnu. Hoolega. HOOLEGA. 

Random shit

Anyway...

Just another normal day, nothing particularly interesting or anything.

Got an A- in English. Forgot to write 'were' in front of a verb. Just goes to show I am not paying attention in class anymore. I feel fucking sleep-deprived.

I came home from school today and told myself I'd take a small nap in the afternoon, about an hour or two. Guess how long I actually napped? No longer than ten minutes, I am not shitting you. As soon as I fell asleep my mom came in my room and said to wake up because we have guests coming and she's going out, so I have to entertain them.

I have made plans to take an afternoon nap for weeks now and the one time I actually fall asleep, this happens.

You see, I have a really hard time falling asleep in general, not only in the afternoon, so this was just extra awesome! *thumbs up*

And about those guests... I've managed to be awkward on a whole new level. Talked once or twice to them and then went to watch commercials on the tv. Oh the awkward silence that followed. I could've cut it with a knife!


Diane made me angry today with her constant whining of how she forgot to take her vitamins this morning. I wanted to be an asshole to her so badly today and say, "OH GROW UP AND GET AN IMMUNE SYSTEM!!!" But I just have to be a nice person, I just have to. It's not really in my nature to be a complete dickhole, knowingly, to people. If I subconsciously do it then I wont understand what I did wrong. And if I say sorry, I probably don't actually mean it, because I DON'T see what I did wrong. True story, brah.


It's really awesome that I'm the only person in my family that absolutely hates cold and gets the coldest room to sleep in. You can imagine my joy on mornings.


I am on the path to becoming the Joker. The sides of my mouth are so dry because of the cold and it's starting to look like I tried to make myself smile with a razor blade. Now I only have to find my soulmate, Batman. Then we can run around the city, blowing up houses and insulting each other to relieve sexual tension.


Nabokov's Lolita is fucking weird. I feel for you bastards, because it's gonna be a required reading in your final class. It's about a pedophile, so yeah... I didn't like it. While the author tried to soften the horrific actions of the pedophile with really complex words, it didn't quite get me. It's still gross and I don't like how we spent so much time analyzing that damn pedophile and his actions. GG teacher!


Wrote lyrics to a rap song I found yesterday. Do you know how hard that is without referencing anything. And I couldn't really reference anything, because there were no lyrics to be found ANYWHERE! There was some guy in the comments section of that song who wrote something, but I still had to revise some things. You guys want me to post the lyrics and the rap song as well? Of course not.


I am going to sleep the SHIT out of my bed now. It's uber cold here though. GG!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN MORFFAT!

Ans let's say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our friend Steven Morffat! 
We should be very thankful for him! 

                           YOU'RE GENIUS!

My attitude is still a virgin because I don’t give a fuck

Last two days I've been in a very weird mode. It's like: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Like srsly. One week ago I was crying about this bullshit. And now .. I don't care if something goes wrong again, because it's inevitable (I don't even know if it is a word) But I know, I try my best. Okay, not always. The results are not good anyway. So just let it be.
I fucking hate everything:)
I wake up with that feeling. It's like, you're always mad about something. Naah.. Just bored. Maybe I need to draw a smiley face on my wall. So I could just punch it. Sad thing is - I don't have an revolver:(
What is wrong with me? I don't want to hate everything and everybody. IT'S YOU FAULT ANNI.

People that don't deserve to live

...okay, so maybe that's a little too harsh. But my god, there are some people I CANNOT stand. Let's start with the list, shall we? This is gonna be long...


*People who smoke in my vicinity, especially if they know I don't smoke and ESPECIALLY if it's indoors. You can sleep on the porch this winter, cancer-spreader.

*Drivers that let you pass the street, but then start honking if you wait 'too long'. Bitch, what about the other car?! I'm not about to get run over because only you're letting me pass!

*Guys whose underpants show above their jeans... Ugh, do I really have to explain this one again? IT'S A CODE FOR GAY SEX IN PRISON! Unless you're gay AND in prison, stop doing it.

*Histrionic/egoistic/dramatic people. Bluuuh, it's like; Bitch, I don't care if your cat died a month ago. Or that you broke up with your internet!boyfriend. Or if LIFE IS SO FUCKING HARD!! It's hard for everyone and we get by, fucking keep your mouth shut and deal with it like the rest of us!

*People, who want my pity in EVERYTHING. You cunt, I have a life of my own! If you're fucking starving yourself to become slender, then I have no sympathy for you!

(This is actually kind of hypocritical of me, since I do fasting about once a month as well. The difference between me and the other person is that I fast for a couple of days and not more because I know doing it for a longer period of time can be hazardous without the supervision of a doctor. They did it for two weeks straight and even, I quote "fainted a couple of times, no biggie". No fucking sympathy for people who don't look up the dangers of fasting. I was at the point where I wouldn't have even cared if they were hospitalized for their stupidity.)

*People who CONTINUOUSLY make SIMPLE grammar mistakes. I mean, I'm in no way perfect, but by god, why don't you know the difference between your/you're and their/there/they're?! Have you not finished the sixth grade yet?! I mean, english isn't my first language and even I didn't fuck those words up when I was just a kid! I literally knew the difference between those words when I was 7 years old.

*People who write like this: how r u? r u ok? omg lol xd.
...Seriously? Seriously. Ok, um, if you want to talk to me, like you want to spend your time on me, then fucking use proper grammar and longer sentences and, for god's sake, use a period once in a while! You can use an abbreviation every once in a while, but this... With shit like "how r u?" it looks like you don't entirely WANT to talk to me and do it just out of obligation because we're both online or because we're friends or something. Why are we friends again? Oh wait, we're not.

*People, who, while they're with me, spend all their time on the phone texting. Did you want to spend time with me or not?! If not, then stop hanging out with me all the time! If so, stop texting and let's do something together.

*People who are always late. I make it pretty much my life goal to be on time everywhere. Why can't you?! If that's the time we promised to meet up, why the fuck would you not be there?!

*Girls who wear too much make-up. Okay, so this kinda goes with the last one as well. They take AGES to sparkle themselves up and are then unreasonably, unfashionably late. Most of the time you look like a monster rather than a real person. You don't need make-up, bitch!
...The more you know.

*People who ask for my advice, but then don't take it. Why the FUCK would you ask for my advice and then blow it off as irrelevant and do what you want to do, instead of what's the right thing to do. And then, when it all blows in your face, I want to scream out to the sky, "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO, YOU CUNT!"

*Martyrs. And not the people from the Bible, but people who IRL do stupid shit like this: suffering because of something, physical or otherwise, but refusing to go to the doctor.

*People who hate on something too much. Like Pewdiepie, anime, Justin Bieber, One Direction, gays, asexuals, Homestuck, Twilight. Dude, chill, they never killed your pet or anything. Why the fuck are you hating on them? I don't listen/watch/whatever to half of those and I'm not going around spreading hate. Stop listening/watching them. That's why the internet is so fucking stupid nowadays, people hate everything for no apparent reason. And some make it their life goal to fuck up the lives of the people who like them. Seriously, why are you wasting your time? We're not gonna stop liking it because of you and you're not gonna start liking it. So why spend so much time on a subject you fucking hate? Go to a carnival or an amusement park, go have fun instead. Do something fun instead of whining on something you dislike so much.

*Teens

*Kids, who swear and think they're boss. You're not, swearing doesn't make you instantly cool, and I'm gonna treat you like a flea, until you realize you really are one.

*Old people who don't respect me. I know you should always respect your elders, but if you treat me like something less and inferior, then, no matter what your age, I wont respect you.

*I HATE it when people say they're my friend, but then don't put any effort into our friendship. Fucking call me or send me a text or email or something every once in a while! It's a two-way street where we BOTH have to give something so we wouldn't revert to acquaintances or even this line: "Somebody that I used to know". One day it wont be enough if I'm the only one calling and texting. If you value our friendship, DO something about it.


This could be longer, but I'm tired. Might do part two sometime in the future. What are your pet peeves, guys?

Sherlock spoof

Because I have to share this with you

This. Is. The. Best. Video. Ever. Made!
And now I can't get the idea of Moriarty liking Justin Bieber out of my mind!

Sometimes I feel like a bird who has been captured and brought down from the highs where it had flown without a care in the world.
I am failing myself, afraid to be me. I am so different in my heart, much less closed off, but I don't know how to show it. I want to be a bird who can fly higher than anyone else, but I don't know how.
I want to give this world so much, but I am too shy and afraid and worthless to even consider trying, 'cause what would it change? If I wrote a book or composed a song, what would it change in a world where there is so much sadness and pain? I am pretty good at puting on a good face or a happy smile, but I am too strange to understand myself. Who am I? I know who I want to be, but who am I really?
A good person, I hope, but a bit too selfish. I am not very social or good with words, unless I write them. I have broken free from the rutin, now it is time to start finding myself because I really want to get to know who I am inside.

Hei Kallid. Esiteks tahan ma paluda vabandust selle pärast, et ma ei kirjuta inglise keeles, nagu me kokku oleme leppinud. Hetkel valmistab mulle isegi lause ’My name is’ ütlemine raskusi. Teiseks tahan ma öelda, et ma üritan kõik ära rääkida ja see võib pikaks minna. Tahan kuidagigi selgitada.
Ma olen endale miljon korda lubanud, et ma ei hakka meie ühises bloggis jälle mingit enesehaletsusliku mase teksti panema. Ma põrun iga korraga aina rohkem. Iga kord läheb hullemaks.
Ma ei taha vinguda, ma ei taha haletsust, ma ei taha näida nagu nõrk inimene. Aga ma ei jaksa enam.
Alustan eilsest.
Kujutage ette päeva, kui teie ema lubab teil koju jääda. Koolipäeval. Reedel. Ta palub teil küll terve maja ära koristada (sh põrandaid pesta ja tolmu võtta), hobusele, jänestele, kanadele, koerale ja kassidele süüa anda, ning õhtu poole hobune ja kanad oma ’magamisasemesse’ viia. Ta palub teil lapsed lasteaiast tulles vastu võtta ja nad valmis sättida õhtuseks sünnipäevaks (kusjuures sünnipäev oli Signe emal) Kujutate ette? Tundub tore, vedeleda päeval kodus ja õhtul oma parima sõbranna juurde minna? MIS saab valesti minna?
Ja ilmselgelt kõik. Ja natuke pealegi.
Reedel pidin ma tegelikult minema mingile üritusele, kuhu vaid valitud õpilasesinduse liikmed said minna. Ma selgitasin teistele, miks ma tulla ei saa. Ja ilmselgelt arvasid kõik, et ma olen neid lihtsalt alt vedanud. Peale seda üritust oleksin ma pidanud minema isa juurde. Sest teadagi on see nädalavahetus isadepäev. Aga ma ei läinud. Sest ma tahtsin nii väga Signe näha. Ja mu ema sai tööle, mis tähendab, et ma peaks nkn pühap. lapsi hoidma. Ühesõnaga olin ma alt vedanud oma enda ka isa. Ta oli nii kurb.
Mõtlete, et mis saab valesti minna koristamises ja loomade eest hoolitsemises?
Näiteks see, et minu pärast oleks peaaegu meie poni ära kadunud. Sest ma unustasin ta talli ukse kinni panna ja ta oli ära jooksnud.
Ma ajasin need kanad valesse kohta. Tänu millele ema terve õhtu, kui me sünnipäeval olime, kordas mulle: Hommikuks on kõik kanad külma surnud. Sest sina viisid nad sinna. Nad kõik surevad ära. Neil ei ole seal süüa. Nad külmuvad surunuks. Nad on nõrgad ja külmuvad surnuks.
Või näiteks see, et  ma andsin jänestele VALE heina. Mille peale tuleb ema ja küsib: Kas sa kunagi üldse midagi hästi suudad teha? Alati keerad sa kõik perse. Oskad sa kunagi midagi korralikult teha?
Või näiteks see, et koristades olen ma rõdu ukse natuke lahti unustanud. Ja see lahti unustatud uks on sellel ajal kui meie oleme sünnipäeval öösel täiesti pärani lahti tulnud ja selle pärast on kõik toad nii külmad, et seal ei kannata olla. Ja siis tuleb ema ja ütleb: Kas sa kunagi oma mõistust kaa kasutad?
Või hoopis see, et niiiii kaua oodatud sünnipäev, kus ma lootsin ennast natukenegi muredest tühjaks rääkida, tuleb selline, et ma passin terve õhtu telefonis netis, sest Signe lihtsalt ei suhtle minuga vaid räägib terve aja mingi Jani ja Kaspariga. Istun omaette nurgas ja mõtlen kui nõme inimene võin ma ikka olla, et isegi üks mu parim sõber minuga enam ei räägi. Kui palju hullemini oleks saanud veel minna?
Aga täna kui me Paidest tagasi hakkasime sõitma suutsin ma sellest kõigest veel üle olla.
Ma vaatasin auto aknast välja otse päikese poole. Ja korrutasin endale, et kõik läheb paremaks. Nii kui nii läheb. Ja nii ma ka tõesti arvasin.
Seni kuni me koju jõudsime.
Ma olen kaks kuud näinud vaeva oma kunsti tööga. Ma olen viimistlenud iga pisidetaili seal pildil (ma joonistasin ennast ja Triinu) Ma olen passind lihtsalt tunde seda pilti paremaks tehes. Ja täna, just siis kui ma olen oma riided ära vahetanud ja tuju on natukenegi parem kuulen ma seda, kuidas lapsed millegi üle naeravad. Ma läksin oma tuppa. Ja esimene asi mida ma voodi peal nägin oli minu kunsti lõputöö. Kritseldatud üle sinise ja punase värvipliiatsiga.
Ja sellest ajast kuni praeguseni olen ma lihtsalt nutnud. KÕIK on halvasti. Ja kõik on minu süü. Kuidas peaksin ma jõudma nüüd uue töö teha kui mul on aega niii vähe. Sest kunagi novembris peavad need tööd valmis olema. Ma vaatan sellel pildil neid silmi, neid juukseid, neid käsi – mille joonistamisega ma nii palju vaeva nägin. Ma ei suuda enam.
Üleüldse. Kool ja siis mingi Kirjanduse Olümpiaad. Milleks? Lihtsalt milleks? Ma pean kirjutama 25 lehte uurimustööd teemal ’Noorte neidude eneseotsingud’.
Nagu ma oskaks. Ja tantsimas. Ma ei suuda isegi seal normaalselt olla. Ma ei saa mitte millegagi hakkama. Mul on selline tunne, nagu ma oleksin mingi pingviin. Ma lihtsalt ajan kõik sassi. Isegi kui ma oskan. Selle pärast jätsin ma rahvatantsu pooleli. No mitte ainult selle pärast, et ma ei saa hakkama. Selle pärast kaa, et ma olen nii paks. Ja rahvatants ei sobi minusugustele. 

Veel see, et ma olen kuus kuud olnud ilma piima ja nisu toodeteta. Iga päev ma kuulen, kuidas mulle öeldakse, et see on mõttetu ja midaiganes. Aga ma pole alla andnud ja nüüd peaks tulema ka üks hea uudis. Ma olen 11 kilo alla võtnud. Ma käin pm iga päev jooksmas. Trennides. Aga mis kasu sellest on? Mis kasu, kui sulle öeldakse: ’See, et sa nüüd VÄIKSEM oled ei tähenda, et sa nüüd natukenegi ilusam oleks.’      Nagu ma ei teaks.
Tõesti, mis kasu on nii palju pingutada. Päriselus ei muutu koletised printsessideks.
Üleüldse esimest korda elus mõtlen ma iga päev, mis tunne oleks lihtsalt ära kaduda. Ma ei taha enam elada. Mis mõttega. Mida rohkem ma proovin, seda hullemaks kõik läheb. Tundub, et ma vean inimesi alt seda ise tahtmata. Ma tahan head, aga saavutan alati midagi halba. Minu pärast oleksid elusolendid ÄRA SURNUD. Ja mu hobune ära kadunud. Ja nagu ma oleksin suutnud edasi elada sellise teadmisega?
Tundub, et kõik kallid inimesed kaovad mu ümbert ära. Ilmselt selle pärast, et ma nii kohutavalt loll olen. Varsti pole mul enam ühtegi sõpra. Kellel üldse sellist inimest vaja on.
Ja ma olen väsinud, lihtsalt nii väsinud teistel järgi jooksmisest. Miks pean mina alati olema see ainus, kes hoolib, keda natukenegi huvitab.
Ma ei oleks kunagi ette kujutanud, et ma seda ütlen, aga ma ei jõua ega taha enam edasi elada. 

Why I love...

ONE PIECE

HOMESTUCK

SHERLOCK BBC

I'm sorry, but the last one is fucking hilarious! I apologize for ruining your mood. Here, have a video about jokes!

...I'm more of a deadmau5 fan. Skrillex can go suck it.

Anxiety

I must admit, up until september I had NO idea what anxiety really was.

I mean, I heard about many people feeling anxious about something or other, but I couldn't relate to them. Even after I experienced it, I still couldn't.

Until today.

I'm sorry, I'm a fucking slow person. Just to show you how slow I am:

I had a guest from America here. I told him I was gonna bake a cake. He said it looks different from the cakes he's used to. A month after he left I remembered that cake and pie are different things in english.

You guys see? I'm a fucking idiot.

Anyway, so when I was talking to my sis on the phone today, I finally got it. She was talking about chest pains and anxiety and stress and panic attacks. I finally got it that what I felt for about a week, some people feel every day of every week of every month.

I mean, I went through that and I felt like I was gonna throw up any minute. You know that feel, right bro? Well, think of that feeling never leaving you. You go to sleep with that feeling, you wake up with that feeling. And you know those butterflies that fly around your stomach every time you see your crush? Those butterflies just suddenly had a panic-attack and are mauling your intestines. Also, your head just has an indefinite date with a lumberjack, whose got a billion logs, the forearms of Hulk Hogan and nothing but fucking time.

You can't imagine this shit, until you've felt it. You just can't.

I went through that and felt worse than shit. And my anxiety lasted only for about a week! I feel bad for people who have to deal with this shit for more than a week. No, scratch that, I feel sorry for people who have to feel like that at all!

And now that I know what my sis feels on a daily basis, I don't know what to do. I want to help her, but what can I do?! I'm... I'm meeting her this weekend. She has to work on weekends, but work ends at about 6 PM, so at least we can hang out in the afternoon. But I still wanna relieve her stress somehow.

Guys, please advise.

HEIL HITLER!

The kombucha mushroom people

Like what the fuck?
These lyrics..
This is totally brainfuck.

The male-mind

What would your name be, if you were of the opposite sex? What would you act like in different situations? Describe yourself, your thoughts and feelings.


Leaving aside the fact that if I'd have been born as a boy, my mom would've named me Lauri, I would like my male-name to be one of these:
Henri, Madis, Joosep, Emil, Hando, Neven, Karla, Mati, Rain.

I'd be a big-boned boy, awkward, with limbs that'd feel too long, but I could still manage to be really short. Short hair, because, c'mon, you guys know I dislike long hair! I'd probably dye my hair though. Having red hair as a boy doesn't seem as pleasant as it does when you're a girl. And even as a girl it's not that pleasant. I'd probably bleach my hair, rather than make it a darker shade, though, since I have a really light skin. It'd not look nice on a boy, unless he wants to go emo/goth. And I wouldn't go either of those.

I think... I wouldn't act differently at all from how I act now. I might be a bit lenient with people, not get riled up as easily, but I'd pretty much act the same.

I would wear semi-formal clothes to school. Maybe formal, even, once in a while.

And from this point on it's gonna be even more of a speculation than it already is.

I would like Physics more and be better at it. Still shit in math. And maybe a bit worse in Biology or Literature.

I would be... A bit too honest. I would definitely say things that some people might say is TMI. I would say hurtful things to people and not even notice. Kind of like I do now, but even more so, because I read males usually have more trouble with empathy.


I love how I could be somehow offending so many people at the moment and I can't even see what it is that I am saying wrong, if I indeed am saying something wrong. This shit is just natural to me.


I might be on my way to becoming a philosophist(?). Because I am ALL about theories and no practical stuff.

I think Philosophy is for lazy people. Smart people, but lazy as fuck people.


Also what do you guys think? What name from that list of names I wrote suits me the most?
And write your own list of boy-names and I'll tell you what I think would suit you.
While you're at it, tell me about YOUR male-me. It's awesome to see what you guys think. :)