Today was just terrible. I woke up in the morning, and my senses told me that it's not gonna be a good day. I was right.
The first lesson was Russian. And the teacher asked us to answer her questions. Ofc I forgot everything. Just everything. My head was totally empty, I knew, that the answer was somewhere there, in my mind. In my head. In my fucking head, that always, just always let's me down. So I just kept saying the wrong answers. And she was just yelling at me. Like she always does.
And then I felt it, I felt like the whole world is against me. I felt tired, dissappointed, stupid, I felt like nothing. I was just nothing. I just set there. And then I realized, that there's a tear in my eye. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. But I just couldn't do it. So, I just set there. And I just repeated myself: Don't cry, you're not a baby. DON'T CRY, you're in class.
And it's never been so hard to not cry. So when the bell finally rang I ran to the bathroom and I just let the tears fall. I just cried. In school. Like a fucking baby.
I just can't take this whole shit. It's so freaking hard.