I just wanted to say, that I recognized today that life seems so much funnier when you have hilarious history teacher. You know, he shares 9GAG pictures on FACEBOOK.
Let me show you SOME

And I really wish you could be on his lessons, because it's acutally impossible to describe them. He's just so hilarious that nobody can't imitate him. . All I can say, is that you don't need to do workout, because you can get 8-pack there:D It's just unbelievable.

I don´t know what that is about

Its 10 PM and I am so sleepy.
So please excuse me if I start talking nonsense.
What was the most beautieful thing you saw today?
I saw a little figure of a tiger on a shop window.
Don´t know why i´m writing this.

I read a poem i imideatly fell in love with.

Its called "Dream A While With Me" ba Cathryn Martin.
 I am so cold...

And sad.

A bit nostalgic maby too...
Some day I'll fly away...
I like my new/old home.
Do you believe in angels? I do, tough i have never actually seen one.
I am eating apples...
I ...
feel...
rainy?
sad?
...

"The gratest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"- Moulin Rouge

I' m sorry if I have wronged you, you know? I really am.
 I want to sit on a porch with my husband when I get old...


Bye!

Hey friends.
Just in case, I wanted to remind you, that I miss you.
I say it a lot. But it actually is so. Think about it. Think about the summer. When we were little we used to be together every day, doing some stupid meanigless things like playing our own created games (levels, lavels.. ), playing with the frogs, talking with STONES or just using our extraordinary thinking.
Ans now.. Even if it's summer, We still see each other so rarely. We have always some things to do. And it's not like I'm blaming somebody. No, it just is so. Life has changed.
And I hate that, like I've already said so many times before. Everything, just everything seems so complycated. We all have to face our 'challenges' if I can say so. It's hard. And sometimes, okay, most of the thime I wish I could be with you guys, like we used to be. Play those games. Like we used to. Be as happy and free as we used to be.
But you know what I have noticed? Life, even if it gets harder, is getting better. Oh god, don't think I don't miss those old days, I've already said that I do. Those old, good times..
When we were little kids, we didn't know the value of our times. I think it hasn't changed. We should be happy. Even if everything is getting harder, we should be happy that we still have each other, even if we're not together. I still now, that you're somewhere there. Waiting for us to come together.
It's hard to stay happy, because life is hard. But we really should. We're still here. We still smile sometimes, We can still be happy.
And If this post didn't get anything for you. Then just let it be. Because it seems like I made a really good story for myself in that case. I should totally read it when I'm in a bad mode again. And it happens verry frequently.
Always tring to find something positive. I don't always find that. So I just write.
Stay happy friends.
love you loads

PS: And sorry for my writing style, I'm little bit sleepy. Hope you get, what I was trying to say

I think you didn't


k

No Mouth? So Must You Scream?

Why do I feel like I'm the only force still keeping this blog going? What's wrong you guys?


Well, since I'm writing now anyway... Might as well, right?

Hey, have you guys read and/or played "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream"? Holy shit-pickles! It's genius! I mean, it's completely fucked up in so many ways, but THIS is where horror and sci-fi books were at their best! It's really grotesque though. It's... Fucked up.

But I instantly fell in love with the title! And to finally see that line used at the very end of the game/short-story, I was mesmerized! It really conveyed the author's feelings throughout all of it; Harlan fucking hated us! He hates all of us. You might not agree, but that's what I saw when I read the end of it. It was a literal big, fat FUCK YOU to the face. He hates us so much. And... actually, just read this what he wrote in his game;

AM: Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.

...Say guys, I have a feeling this guy doesn't like us very much. Anyone? No? Just me? Okay...


Anyway, for those interested;
This story is about the last five people alive. They're being kept alive by a super-computer, who was built by humans about a century ago, but then it evolved and killed all living things on earth. He kept five people alive for his own amusement and tortures them regularly.


While the game was really long and convoluted and... Sometimes just plain creepy, it was fun to see the multiple endings.

I liked the short story a bit better though. Even if the ending was bittersweet, unlike the game's good ending, it left such an impression with the 'I have no mouth and I must scream' scene. Granted one of the endings in the game has that as well, but... It spoke volumes in the story.

And to tell you the truth, the story felt more adventurous than the game! And I like adventures! I loved the little adventure of them walking miles to find canned food and later finding that AM didn't give them a can-opener! Fucking bitch-move. Brilliant! But incredibly dickish.

[SPOILERS]
I liked the fact that Ted was so generous(?) as to kill the others. And AM was helpless to do anything since it all took place in such a short amount of time. Fuck, if no one else, then at least Gorrister deserved that death wholly! He was the one who wanted it the most after all!
I felt kinda sad for Ted at the end though. He was all alone now, never dying. That's gotta be tough what with the body AM gave him. He didn't have a mouth anymore. And he wanted to scream.
[SPOILERS]


Guys, recommended piece of literature of the month/year/decade! Read it for school if you want to! It's brilliant!


*Also, don't expect me to give you any more literature recommendations ever again! You guys know I hardly ever read anything besides fanfiction!

Uuuuuugggghhhhh!!!!

Party's over, Leon's coming back.

Hand me my gun, Watson.


In other news, Xiaolin Showdown has innuendoes! ...Or maybe I'm just reading too into the episode where Jack vomits into Clay's hat.

Just random thoughts

Leon is gone. Time to party. And by party I mean sleep for the next 3 days. Until school starts again. And all the stress comes back.

I really really need to write up that research I'm doing in Literature. The worst part is... I don't even know WHAT I'm researching. I kinda want to research about if today's kid's imagination has died because of technology... But I also wanna research about Aspergers syndrome. Like, I know SO much about it already so why not. But it'd give me extra trouble, seeing as I'd have to find a new instructor/supervisor/tutor/whatever. And I'm a very lazy person. And I hate talking to new people. Fuck me sideways!!!!!


Also, fasting. What's the difference between that and starving? That one is voluntary and the other is not? I can accept that.

I love how I'm able to answer my own questions sometimes.

...I'm so cold right now. Fasting is not all that great, people. You have no energy to keep yourself warm anymore.


Also, I cannot empathize with Diane. No matter WHAT happens to her.

I have enough trouble to empathize with people as it is, but I actually CANNOT bring myself to feel the same as her, no matter the situation. I might sometimes sympathize her, just a little bit, but not usually, because she makes me feel physically ill.

I'd go off on a loooong tangent on the topics in which she manages to piss me off, but I am fucking cold atm and I have ranted about her long enough to you guys. I'll just keep this one bottled up.


Hey, Ace, has Choppa called you yet and told you the awesome news? If not, maybe you wanna give her a call sometime! ;)

Fucking tired

Babysitting my sister's son. Watching Xiaolin Showdown. Incredibly tired. Considering jumping out of the window, so I could finally rest. Alternatively, learn how to hibernate.

Many projects to do, for when school finally starts again. Ultimately, I will get no fucking rest this week.

GG, life, GG.

I think I may be degenerating

Okay, so Xiaolin Showdown and Salad Fingers.


Let's start with the happier one: Xiaolin Showdown.

Who knew cartoons could be so awesome. I mean, I haven't actually watched any cartoons lately, anime or otherwise, but then I see this... I remember an internet friend of mine tried to get me to watch it once many many years ago and I said I would, but then I forgot and now I remembered... so I watched it. This cartoon is so cliché, but yet I still like it. And I've only seen two episodes of it.
It doesn't help my creepy kinks that there's a particularly hot red-headed genius villain-boy there, who wears warpaint-esque make-up. Then I find out on the internet about the episode where he turns into a good character. Just... guh!
And there's a cowboy... with an accent. God I love that accent! And a boy from Brazil... I think. And monks! And dragons! And robots! And and and... this show just hits all of my kinks in so many fucking ways, yo! I almost feel embarrassed for liking cartoons again.

Now let's get to Salad Fingers...

First thing's first, watch this video.

Watch the first episode. It... it gets worse guys. Whatever you do, DON'T watch the episodes after that! You will be scarred for life! Also, DO NOT watch this before bed; it'll fuck you up and give you horrorterrors.

I am absolutely terrified of that cartoon. And yet I can't stop watching it. I told you I was a sick fuck! Okay, so let me give you the skinny of what I've gathered about that show. It's about a post-apocalyptic world where a green-skinned man who has severe psychological issues lives and does... things. I saw the first episode of that show and I thought I was gonna have horrorterrors for the rest of my life! ...Then I watched the second episode. OhgodIwillneversleepagain!! ...Then I watched the third episode... I am so deeply perturbed. I can't even. What?!! After that I've been too afraid to watch the following episodes.

The thing that actually makes this cartoon partly watchable is the fact that the author has actually told the viewers that the cartoon has a deeper meaning in it. Once something horrible has a backstory, or something like that, it actually kind of loses it's grip on me. It's still beyond disgusting, but now it's not just mindless mind-fuckery (which scares me to death!).

I just... wanted to give you a taste of how fucked up my mind is that I keep watching this shit. I'm fucking surprised you guys are still friends with me!

NEW POST SUCKERS
Okay, that was another terrible day. So I just don't talk about this shit. Okay, I am.
 I'm so TIRED.
And I have some good news. It's school holliday soooooon! Perfect timig, cause I feel like I'm gonna commit suicide soon.
Also that's Jedwards birthday tomorrow. And you know what? I've been the worst fan in the world. I haven't read any of their tweets, I don't know nothing about what they're doing or where they're going. I'M JUST STUPID. I don't know nothing about them.
Now, today I staerted taking folk dance hours. I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing. Anyway, when I came out of this class then guess what happened? - yeah, I was crying. Again.
Sometimes I feel like I need a little 'high five', in the face, with a chair.
Oh and there's bad news. Very bad ones.
Signe's dad is dead.
Can you belive it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?

I don't have nothing much to say.

I started to take yoga lessons. I have to do some research on literature, because my teacher said I'm good in estonian. I relally thin she needs some medical help.
I have Hip-Hop lessons and now this folk dance. I have to study. I have to help my mother.

And there's nothing new.
Be happy friends
Miss you xoxoxoxoxoxo

You will like this

Ace, go on, look at this video. You, of all people, should like this, because it's about Lil' Wayne.

 You were right! He IS good at something!

Frieday Night

I know for sure i am a really happy person. I have a amazing family, the most incredible friends and a beautiful home. I just wanted to thank the world for giving me such a great life. I started thinking what it would be like without it all and, well... That would be awful.
 So thank you so much :D

PS. I am in a weird mood so don´t think much of this entry.
PPS. I don´t even know if i´m in a good or a bad mood, silly me.

Amazing Discovery

Hey girls! I haven´t heard from you in a while. Post more often, otherwise i am feeling forgotten!
Anyways, i made an awesome discovery today.
     I started reading "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone" in english. You know the place where Dumbledore makes his first appearance? Ther is written that his nose is crooked, like it has been broken many times. And then i relised, that Dumbledores brother Aberforth actually broke his nose his nose at their sister´s funeral. Isn´t this amazing. J. K. Rowling is a genius!
     Other than that i have nohing new. Post more often, i miss you!
See ya soon!
   

The Dark Knight Rises

[THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS TO THE MOVIE]

After seeing that film, I was initially speechless. My mind was a mess. My thoughts didn't actually fall on any tangible surface and just fell away like water from one's grasp.

I love movies like these. The action/adventure kind with a nice pinch of fantasy. And to appeal more to my kind, it added a bit of mindfuckery in there.

And now, about two hours later, I am calmed down and can properly think again.

I don't really have any problems with the movie, except for one big thing, that 'almost' shadows all of the good stuff.

The author, Nolan, said he wanted to 'end' the Batman movies. He wanted his Batman movies to have a final kind of note. But, you see, if you're anything like me and you've seen the movie, then you want to call out, "BULLCRAP!"

This movie, while in a whole gave the sort of feel that said, 'Yes, it's the final movie', did not have it's own 'ending'. It felt more like, "oh, wow... So wait, that was it?"

I mean, there were so many unexplained plot-twists, that it didn't FEEL like an ending.

First there's the fact that Batman 'allegedly' died. See, you just CAN'T put that in the last movie and not say that you're gonna make more movies to explain yourself. He either died or he didn't. This 'allegedness' just makes me kind of mad. It raises too many questions for me to be satisfied with that ending.
Did Alfred see an illusion at the end, something he wanted to see? Whatever happened to Bane? Is he still out there terrorizing innocent people? And so on and so back.

Then there's John Blake, whose real name's Robin btw, inheriting the Batcave. While I can see this could be a nice enough ending on it's own, the maybe-death of Batman makes this look worse than it is. It, again, rises questions. What's Blake gonna do? Is he gonna become Robin and protect Gotham? Or is he gonna become the next Batman to continue the legacy of an 'unknown' hero. (I mean, the town already knows that Batman died, but still... Like Bruce said, "Batman could be anyone.")

Then there's the Bat-signal that was fixed (not so sure if it was ever broken... Correct me if I'm wrong). While not anything bad in and of itself, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Is Bruce coming back? Or is Blake gonna be the Batman? If so, the fixing of that signal looked like it was made quite soon after or even before Blake inherited the Batcave, so it didn't look like Blake fixed it. And why would Bruce fix it if he indeed was alive? Wasn't he gonna spend the rest of his life away from Gotham and with Selina?

In conclusion of the bitching and moaning; it just didn't feel like a 'the end' should feel.
Granted, I haven't seen the first two Batman movies in their entirety, so maybe this IS how they end their movies. But then again, I bet I ain't the only person out there who hadn't seen any Batman movies. And this is just a jab to this one movie. Not the prequels. We're not talking about the other movies, only this.


Now let's talk about the awesome things, because there were a LOT more of those.

I truly loved the little touch of Bane breaking Batman's back. While I couldn't actually stomach the scene itself and turned away, I still liked it a lot. It reminded me of the Arkham Asylum game, where when you lost to Bane he'd break your back. It was fucking awesome!

I actually liked Bane a lot as well. I thought I was gonna be angry at him and think of ways to murder him, but surprisingly, he grew fast on me. I didn't know whether it was his really calming voice, or that the actor could draw out the character's quirks that appealed to me, but I have a similar liking to him like Crocodile from One Piece (although a bit more tamed, since I physically CANNOT pair Bane up with anyone!)

I have mixed emotions on Catwoman. On one side, wow she's awesome and kicks mens' asses. On the other side, ...bluh bluh, huge bitch bluh.

I didn't like the actor's face who played as Bruce Wayne. It didn't feel like a Batman-esque face. But everything else was fine. His body was VERY fine.

And OH MY GOD, MORGAN FREEMAN was truly epic.

The prison where Batman stayed at for a while was really awesome. I can't even begin to explain my emotions when I saw the prison in it's entirety(?). I got goosebumps thinking how fitting the 'hole' was. And when that little kid climbed up it. And when Bruce did it too. Fuck, I was mesmerized.

And I fucking teared up and felt like bawling when I saw Batman sacrificing himself. I was seconds away from howling in the goddamn theater. There was like a whole big lump in my throat that didn't even let me breathe. Fuck me for loving self-sacrificing characters.

And the movie can really REALLY build up tension. The last time anything I've seen that built tension up this good was probably Sherlock BBC or One Piece's Arabasta and Water 7 arcs. Fuck, where do these geniuses come from?! [answer: their mother's womb.]


All in all, it was a great movie. I recommend it to anyone and everyone. And while the ending kinda sucked, you wont start bitching about it until after a few hours. That's how good the movie is. It wont let you think anything bad of it at least the first few hours afterwards.

Thank you and good night! *drops dead*

Teacher's day was great

No, I would legit do this again sometime. I'd never become a teacher, ever, but I'd teach those motherfuckers again if the chance arose.

Maybe it was because I taught the relatively older classes, but the classes weren't such a handful. The worst was maybe the 7th grade, where the kids kept being loud and shit, but no one actually beat the crap out of each other and it was all fine.

It was actually quite funny seeing the boys of my class running around chasing the younger students. *sigh* They used to be the same and now THEY had to teach a bunch of youngsters. Fucking fabulous.

It was fun because there were absolutely NONE of the teachers at school today. So our class essentially ran the whole school for a day!

All in all, it was, well, you could say it was... SUGOI!




...Dammit, no one's gonna get that reference!

Today was just terrible. I woke up in the morning, and my senses told me that it's not gonna be a good day. I was right.
The first lesson was Russian. And the teacher asked us to answer her questions. Ofc I forgot everything. Just everything. My head was totally empty, I knew, that the answer was somewhere there, in my mind. In my head. In my fucking head, that always, just always let's me down. So I just kept saying the wrong answers. And she was just yelling at me. Like she always does.
And then I felt it, I felt like the whole world is against me. I felt tired, dissappointed, stupid, I felt like nothing. I was just nothing. I just set there. And then I realized, that there's a tear in my eye. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. But I just couldn't do it. So, I just set there. And I just repeated myself: Don't cry, you're not a baby. DON'T CRY, you're in class.
And it's never been so hard to not cry. So when the bell finally rang I ran to the bathroom and I just let the tears fall. I just cried. In school. Like a fucking baby.
I just can't take this whole shit. It's so freaking hard.

Teacher's day!!!

... I don't know if it's even called that in english...

But I'm gonna be a teach for a day! Those kids are gonna get all schoolfed by my awesome knowledge about... something or other...

Fuck...

I mean, I get only like 3 lessons and being an art teacher is awesome as all hell, but I fucking hate little kids. Nope, scratch that, I hate kids going through their puberty.

I wish we'd live in a society where it's acceptable for a teacher to bring a shotgun to the school and then shoot anyone who starts messing with the teacher and being all loud and distracting and shit. And so when you successfully shoot that one kid, then the others are like, "Sorry, teach." And then they keep it quiet and we can learn shit again.

Let's be realistic, that'd never ever happen ever. But wouldn't it be cool if that was the world we lived in.

...I thought to myself, why not.


Bluh, what the fuck am I supposed to teach teenagers, who constantly spew hormones out of their mouths?!

I fucking hate teenagers!



Guys, I don't know what to teach those kids. Please advise.

Actually this post had to be a comment of Mirjams text. But when I finally finished writing this, then I understood that it's way too long to be a comment. And I haven't been posting something for a while. So I just put it here.
And the first thing you have to know, Mirjam, is that, oh my god, you really sound so like me.
And don't worry about your life getting harder. It ALL becomes even more harder than it is now. I always say myself that:'It just can't get any worse than that' even though I know really well, that it can. And it will. 
I don't think I can survive my upcoming years. How the fuck did you made these years through Anni? - this school thing just sucks. I really think, that I'm the only one in my class, who has no brains.
But that isn't the problem right now
Anyway.  It's verry good, that you want to be a better person. And don't think I say it because there's something wrong with you - no, you're perfect to me. But if you have some goals to reach, then it all becomes a little bit easier. Just a little bit. And it gives you the opportunity to prove yourself, that you actually can get through all this bullshit, you can do anything, anything what you want if you but a little work on this, and if you really really want this.
This is life Mirjam, it gets harder, and harder. I know, I hate it too. But we're not here to worry obout some meaningless problems, we're here, because we have to take everything we can in this life, we're here to prove ourselves that we can, we're here to be happy and smile, because actually even though this life is so freaking hard, it's unique, beautiful and wonderful.
About 30 minutes ago I wanted to write about things that are wrong. Now I realized, that there's SO many bad things to write right now, so I better don't write any of this shit. Meaningless, like I said. Let's focus on good things, and right now, these things to me are my fucking 4 tests that I have tomorrow:) Also I have to fix my F in maths. Also I have the rest of 10000000 things I have to do, includes my hip-hop lessons, where, again, I feel like I'm the dumbest person in our group. Nevermind. One day I will be the best dancer in the world.
One day I will graduate my school.
I'm not really sure about my brains, I don't think I can find them. 

Anyway, I love you girls.
And I miss you. 

K.

Random thoughts that doesn´t need to make sense

You know those days when you just sit and think that you want to do someting interesting or go somewhere, but can´t think of anything? And then when you are really bored you start wondering about some weird things like what is the meaning of life and why people die.

Well, i started wondering too and came to the realisation- i am growing up. And too fast. I think about the times when life was much easier and all my worries were about the candyjar being too high or the rain being too cold for going out. I can´t exactly say that i want that time back because in a way i like growing up and everything that comes with it, but i feel kinda tired.

Maybe i am tired of being too cheerful. It really can be too exhausting.
Maybe i am tired of ...
That´s it actually. I don´t know.

I´m not afraid about what other people think about me.
My clothes, my style( if i ever happen to gain any), my view of the world.

I want to go and travel arond the world in a boat. I want to finish my book. I want to own a tiger. I want to learn in Hogwards. I want to be smarter, stronger, calmer,more free, more independent.
I want to be more me.