Random moaning

Today I feel the need to just blabber about pointless stuff. (Because pointless is my middle name, yeaaah!) No, but I really have nothing important to say. Just stuff I've thought and felt the last week or so. Also, I haven't posted something on here in a while that's just a big long wall of text. :)



I was torn between watching Sherlock BBC and Harry Potter (Half-Blood Prince) on TV today. I've never seen the sixth HP movie. I've seen Sherlock Holmes BBC at least 3 times now. In the end Sherlock won. I feel bad that I didn't get to see the HP movie, because well... I haven't seen it yet. Not too bad, though, because seeing Irene Adler, Sherlock and John Watson in a love triangle on screen just made me so giddy. Those feels man! I mean like; damn!

I was watching Hercule Poirot a few days ago. It's a bit nostalgic. But at the same time, it felt awesome. Poirot is not that nauseatingly addicting like Sherlock BBC, but it has it's own classy and jazzy sort of feel that just pushes my buttons in all the right ways. But I had to be a fucking retard those few days ago and went on the internet after I finished Poirot. I am not sure if I want to actually start drinking to forget what I found that night, or to go and find some more of those.... things...

I am a fucked up individual and I am sorry for existing in your lives.

But I digress; I was also playing Phoenix Wright (Trials and Tribulations) today. Nostalgia-slap go! I mean, I think I found out about that game in 2009, I think. And my Lord did it bring back memories! It's a seriously nice game - recommended. If you like detective stories, then it's a nice play. A bit surreal at times, but nice nonetheless.

Homestuck brings forth all the feels in me, man. It's heavy on the eyes what with the walls and walls of text, but reading the important bits and pieces helps. And then I just skip pages and pages and just stare at the pictures and sometimes read only one or two words in a conversation. But this comic - it's a goddamn miracle is what it is. It's so... humane in some ways. Kind of reminds me of Sherlock in a way as that series has a tendency of being so fucking humane that it's almost inhumane.



I have a hard time understanding other people. It's fucking confusing is what it is. I uhh... I don't do feelings that well, but I don't mean to upset anyone. So if I do, know that I don't actually mean to.

I sometimes just opt to watch other people fuck about. It's easier than getting involved in their shit. But sometimes they involve you anyway. Or you involve yourself - whichever comes first. And I hate it. I hate the feeling of helplessness when I eventually get up to date on their shit. I hate that I cannot help everyone. I know it's impossible, but it's so fucking...

I hate being helpless. I could make a sexual joke right here about this, but it would not be appropriate. Do you guys see the shit my mind comes up with on a daily basis? That's not even the worst of me. I DO NOT understand the limits set by humans that makes us humble and nice and stuff. If this conversation were to be taken place in real life with us face-to-face, then that sexual joke would be out on the table already. And it isn't actually really that sexual - it's just an observation. But people could, and would, get offended by such 'vulgarity'.

And sometimes I need time. Which I don't have most of the time. People are so fast - they talk and think fast. I'm slow - I need time to think your last sentence through to give an adequate response. They, however, take silence as another form of response. But I really, really don't mean anything that you think I am actually thinking. What I think and what you think I think may be incredibly different - don't put words in my mouth before I get the chance to explain myself or my actions. Don't jump to conclusions before I've said actual facts.

Humans are also weird to comprehend on some level, because of the things they do. They hide petty little things that soon grow into huge troubles. They act really emotionally to things I find could be solved very logically and rationally.

My doctor said humans should listen to their heart when they're thinking of the future. (We were talking about my future career and college plans, but she meant that generally. Everything pretty much applies to it) I feel that she is wrong. Nothing good comes from just listening to your heart all the time. I'm sorry, but I've seen all the shit people go through when they listen to their hearts. It brings joy sometimes, but I feel on most cases you just have to look at things from another angle. I saw what happened to people in those soap-operas when I was a kid (what? Those shitty daytime soap operas aren't going to watch themselves!). They almost ALWAYS listened to their hearts. But the heart LIES to us! It fucking does, I'm sorry to say this. Want an example?

People who get married or conceive kids in two years or less after meeting will have more family trouble than people who wait longer. That is because when we're in love, our 'heart' is blind to the partner's flaws. TWO FUCKING YEARS WE ARE JUST BLIND TO EACH OTHER'S FAULTS! So people who get married in that time period have more trouble because when two years finally pass, you will start to see those little small details that now make you sick and disgusted. The heart doesn't know any better than you do in these situations. THIS IS A SCIENTIFIC FACT, PEOPLE!

So that's why I feel facts and science helps more with life than the 'heart' does. (Even though our heart isn't the place where we 'get' our feelings. We have emotions because of our brain. But that's another story.)

Sometimes I just cannot talk to people. Not because I'm mad or sad, but because I have NOTHING to say. It's easier on the internet, because I can think my sentences through and think of things to babble about. I don't have that time IRL and must immediately act to a set of words or actions. That's why I sometimes say stupid things - because I DON'T have the time to think things through.

Ah, but I went on a tangent. What I wanted to talk about was that I sometimes just don't talk at certain days or at certain points. If you state a fact then I, most of the time, don't have anything to say about that. If you say that you got a ladle for your christmas present, then I will just say "okay"... Because I DO NOT know how to respond to that. If I knew whether you hated or loved that present, then it'd be easier for me to respond. But if you just state the fact that you got a ladle for a present (especially online), then I will be at loss as to what to say. Some people would state their opinion about the present you got. I have no real opinion so I can't do that. Actually, I do have an opinion, but it's usually very convoluted and I feel doesn't need to be thought through if I'm never going to address it.

Which brings me to my next point: I rather people don't use too many words. If the sentences are easy and precise, then it's easier to follow. People might think that's a sign of stupidity. I say; why make things more complicated than they are, just state the facts to get your point across. At the same time, though, you 'sometimes' need to use more words in your sentences. Like when a person asks for a clarification. Then you need to change your wording a bit.

Unlike me, as I tend to repeat what I said when asked for a clarification. I didn't notice it until Choppa pointed it out one day though. I have a hard time changing the wording of my sentences, especially IRL. Ask for a clarification online instead. You'll get WALLS of texts as a response. But at least you might understand some things.

I am a selfish person. I have a habit of making people closest to me guess riddles about myself. I also talk about myself a lot (case in point - every single one of my post. In some way or another). I try to help people a bit too much, which could be chalked up to me being incredibly manipulative. It's all in the books.

Could I ever be around a person like myself for long periods of time? I don't know. I seriously don't know.